I'M IN MY MID-TWENTIES, wearing a flowing, summer dress, barefoot, my long hair blowing around my face as I happily run through the grass towards a little yellow house, still several yards away. A little boy is in my arms, about a year old, with curly brown hair, big blue eyes, freckles on his nose, and a big grin. He laughs as he looks over my shoulder at a bronze-colored Labrador that is running behind me. All that is heard are my footsteps, the panting of the Lab, the giggles of the little boy and the summer breeze. I feel it whipping my dress around my knees and cooling my face, and I absorb the warmth of the sun. I am closer to the little yellow house now. I see the pink and blue flowers planted under the windows and around the picket fence. I open it, and walk up small wooden steps. I walk through the door to the smell of baking strawberry cake. I set the boy down in a little blue couch. He looks at me and laughs. I ruffle his hair and take the cake out of the oven and put it on the stove. Just as I begin to ice it, a tall figure walks through the door, steps out of his boots and hangs his hat. I notice that his jeans and plaid shirt are very dirty after a long day's work. He turns around to look at me with his cool blue eyes and slicks back his wavy brown hair. He says nothing, but walks toward me and silently kisses me on the head. He, like our son, has little freckles on his nose. He washes his hands, then picks up the boy and begins rocking him back in forth in the rocking chair as I prepare dinner. The only sounds are the creaking of the rocking chair and the wind chimes outside. I smile to myself and silently thank my Heavenly Father for such a wonderful life....
This dream, as silly and unbelievable as it sounds, is a reoccurring one for me. It only lasts a few seconds, and it visits me often. This has only been recently; perhaps these last couple of months. I love it very much and think about it almost all of the time.
Though this dream makes me happy, it makes me sad, as well. I feel like there is only one thing keeping this dream from being my real future: ME.
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My hair- yeah, it would look great. My feet- I keep them soft and my toenails are always clean and painted. I do my makeup quite nicely. A beautiful, knee-length, affordable, pink summer dress can be found just about anywhere. But if I ran barefoot through the grass in a little summer dress, it would NOT be a pleasant sight. I would be huffing and puffing, and my surplus of flesh would bounce up and down, left and right.
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It sounds hilarious but it is really very sad. I want to be able to glide, and to feel truly beautiful. I want that handsome cowboy to be attracted to me in the first place, to want to marry me, and to love me forever. I want that adorable little boy with freckles on his nose to be mine. I want everything in that dream, and it's NOT going to happen if I don't lose my weight!
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I am 16 years old and 70 pounds over weight. ALL of my problems-- laziness, procrastination, rebellion, etcetera, ectetera, etcetera-- are related to my weight problem.
Well, guess what, 2010-- I will NOT let my weight hold me back any longer! I am determined. I have goals to achieve, dreams to capture. I have a life to live, an education to attain, a returned missionary to marry, children to bear and raise, trials that I must face head on, and the second coming of our Savior to prepare for. I CANNOT be tired and lazy or push the snooze button any more!
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For Christmas, I asked my parents for a goal dress and these Turbo Jam workout videos that I love very much. They bought them for me and I am so excited. I did my workout videos almost every day this week and did the Food Addicts Diet. I lost two pounds. I was hoping to lose more but I guess it's better than nothing. But a new week begins tomorrow and I have my wonderful parents, my brother, my awesome, athletic aunt, my grandparents and another wonderful aunt who are drastically losing weight, and of course, my dear Heavenly Father to look to for all the support I need.
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So that is my number one goal this year: To lose at least 50 pounds; to fit in my goal dress, to be full of energy, to be happy, to do all I can to make my dream come true, to make this new decade--MY decade--the best decade of my life.
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And I CAN do it.
.Love, Laurabug